From a psychological perspective, I can completely understand why one chooses to intentionally hurt another’s feelings.
“What Susie says of Sally says more of Susie than of Sally.” -Unknown
But here’s the thing-
At the end of the day, the heart provoked has not one shit to share with logic.
After all, they wouldn’t be called heart-strings if they couldn’t be pulled, yeah?
“Emotions are contagious, for better or for worse.” -Michael Gelb
I was slightly butthurt the other day after a hater used our platform to get his chest-pump via internet mockery… However pathetic and sad it is that much of our mainstream society is getting itself off by shamelessly indulging in divisive behavior, there are things you can take away from it to better your life on and away from the screen.
First of all, pay no attention to them because that’s what they want.
I know you know that…
But I also know that we often internalize an insult the same way we would internalize a threat, and the instinct to defend is what typically follows that.
“From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate.” -Socrates
Utilize your brain to bypass that hard-wired instinct and return to the heart again, giving all of your attention to where it is most righteously deserved A.K.A. the reaction you are having to what they said.
Are you upset about it because what they said is false?
Or, are you upset about it because what they said is true?
This is a chance for you to have an honest conversation with yourself that can be both painful and uplifting.
You may find that you’re doing the best you can with what you’ve got. It’s totally human to get upset when you’re doing so and people show no empathy. But once you bring yourself back to that realization you can pretty easily let what they said go, even if you have to bring it back a few times before completely moving on.
It gets a little harder when the latter is the case-
You are well aware that there are things you could be doing better but are struggling with making the necessary changes, and someone somehow manages to call you out on those things “Mean Girls” style…
It’s a big ole’ painful blow to the ego. Which is again, totally human.
But it will benefit you most to feast yourself on some humble pie and make those changes.
After you give yourself a quick and dirty glance in the mirror, I highly doubt you’ll have any desire left to tell your personal version of Regina George to suck it because you’ll realize it isn’t worth your time.
Remind yourself that you’re the captain of your own damn ship, and as long as you know in your bones that it's in good working condition, you’ll find fewer and fewer fucks to give to those who are yelling from ships full of holes.
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by Alexa Francisco
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